This article looks at steps you can take when a crisis hits. It is also aimed at those who, in their professional capacity, particularly within HR, may find themselves providing support to others facing a crisis in their life.

Make sure you are living the life you want to live, instead of tolerating mediocrity that you will later regret. If you make the same resolutions each New Year, recognise that action is required now, instead of waiting for a crisis to wake you up.

Sooner or later, each of us faces adversity. Life isn’t always under our control, so ‘stuff happens’: loss of our job, loss of a loved one, loss of our home or possessions, loss of health or even just acute loss of confidence.

Loss of anything creates a sense of vulnerability, which can be difficult to deal with, especially in a culture where success is judged by what we have in our lives. Our whole sense of identity and security may stem from our earnings, home, possessions, job title or the status of our partner.

Of course, what one person views as a personal crisis may be trivial to another. We all have different thresholds, different perspectives on the importance of events in our lives. What to one person is catastrophe may be seen as a tiny setback to someone else.

Gaining control
It is in our response to a crisis that we have control. We have a choice, to react positively or negatively. We can choose to feel sorry for ourselves, victimised, overwhelmed, or, we can choose to be resilient, to see the silver lining in the cloud and to learn and develop from whatever life has dealt us. Our best route is to avoid self-pity and to look instead at actions we can take to move forward.

Learning
Look for the learning in the experience. Crises frequently provide learning, if we have the courage to look for this. It may be that a risk hasn’t paid off, resulting in perceived ‘failure’. However, all failures help to guide us towards future success.

Learning helps to build our resilience towards future challenges. If you have had to cope with crisis, you will have acquired a level of expertise which will help you to move on more steadily, should something similar befall you one day. You are also then in a better position to help others and this, in turn, will boost you further.

If the learning in the pain isn’t immediately obvious, it may be that years later you can look back and rejoice. Lance Armstrong (author of It’s Not About the Bike: My Journey Back to Life) now says that the day he was diagnosed with cancer was the best day of his life.

Bill Cullen (author of Golden Apples) had a truly tough upbringing. He was born into poverty in Ireland, but his experiences taught him everything he needed to create a life of wonderful achievement. Steve Cunningham was a promising young football player, but became blind aged just 12. He is now a record holder as the world’s fastest blind man on land, sea and in the air.

“When written in Chinese, the word ‘crisis’ is composed of two characters — one represents danger, and the other represents opportunity.” John F. Kennedy

Gratitude
Gratitude is a great remedy. Being thankful as a daily exercise is a well-known way to increase happiness. And it is when we lose something, that we are best served by remembering what we still have. When something goes wrong, consider what is also still going right. If you have lost your job, do you still have people who love you? If your house has burnt down, do you still have good health? Think of what you do still have and rejoice.

One way to find gratitude in the midst of overwhelmingly negative feelings is to look for different perspectives … maybe losing your job will finally provide the freedom and the nudge you need to find the career you were destined for?

Discipline, structure and celebration
If out of work, don’t stay in bed all day. Once this habit starts, it becomes hard to stop. Develop productive habits – be up and ready for work in case the phone rings!

Set targets for how many jobs you will apply for each week; get out networking … keep making progress and celebrate every success, no matter how tiny. If you get an interview – this is a success. Then learn from whatever the outcome is. Persevere until you find work again.

Accept help
When a crisis hits, it is important to not battle on alone. With illness or injury, there will be a team of medical practitioners, working alongside your friends and family, to support you in your recovery. If you lose a job, others close to you will step forward and offer financial assistance.

Don’t turn them away. Be grateful and accepting and know that one day you will be in a position to repay their kindness – perhaps not directly to them, but to others, as yet unknown people, who will one day be recipients of your generosity. If you have people in your life who are demonstrating love towards you in some way, be gracious and know that they enjoy helping you.

Who are your friends?
You need people around you who are prepared to listen, ideally without continually showering you with their own advice. Advice can be helpful, but better still is someone who questions you and listens to your answers, helping you to help yourself with your own best advice for yourself.

Find people you can laugh with – laughter is a great cure for all ills, but you may need help learning to laugh again. Find people who will be patient as you learn to laugh again.

Avoid those who drag you lower. Sadly, some people love negativity. They may be eager to share their own stories of doom and gloom, or maybe they feel they gain status by their close proximity to you and your tragedy. If some of your contacts make you feel worse, seek out more optimistic people to help you ride the storm.

Look forward, not back
A crisis can be the result of someone else’s actions towards you, or your own decisions going wrong. Sometimes, there is no obvious blame or reason for what has happened to you. Whatever the cause, dwelling on what happened is not the best way to cope with the resulting challenges.

Reliving your mistreatment at the hands of someone else damages yourself more than them. Maybe forgiveness is not something you can instantly contemplate, but playing victim feeds your negative energy. Accept what is, and move on from it, in the knowledge that this is what serves you best, to get life back on track.

You are bound to have bad days, when you wonder ‘why me’… but persevere, get out of bed the next day, and know that over time, life will be fun again. Maybe take time out, possibly go away, find time to meditate, take a walk, clear your head, consider renewing spiritual beliefs/practices. All these things can help you progress.

Preparation
“Most of us spend our lives as if we had another one in the bank.” Ben Irwin

One way to minimise the impact of a crisis is to ensure that your life now is the best it can be. Don’t risk looking back with regrets and “if only’s”. We have dreams and ambitions as children, which get lost in the daily pressure of life.

Make sure you are living the life you want to live, instead of tolerating mediocrity that you will later regret. If you make the same resolutions each New Year, recognise that action is required now, instead of waiting for a crisis to wake you up.

If your job requires you to support others when they face personal challenges, help them to understand the value of being proactive. Consider implementing programmes that encourage people to plan their work and their lives more effectively, instead of just ‘letting it happen’.

Jacky Pratt is a practitioner coach accredited by the European Coaching Institute. Prior to coaching, she spent 23 years in IT consultancy and project management. Jacky is also a business mentor with the Prince’s Trust. To contact Jacky call T: 0800 195 5789