‘Gladys’, the PA’s low cut tops were too much for ‘Granville’ the boss who had to call in Sue Kingston for a little discussion on dress codes; meanwhile Sue recounts how an associate managed to turn a sexual harassment case to her advantage. Read on to find out more and see how Sue got on with a hammock, a steak and a bottle of champers.

W/C 20 June 2005:
Its been a ‘happening’ week with one or two quandaries, compliments of the seasonal weather and the basic difference between boys and girls, see what you think.

Dressed to kill
Ever heard the saying, “There are dresses for the garden and dresses for the office?” I fear many young ladies today are getting a little confused with the difference and are causing quite a stir in various offices up and down the country with their male colleagues.

I was asked to assist a business this week with the problem of dress code. The manager (lets call him Granville) simply doesn’t know where to look! The problem is his PA (lets call her Gladys), who has decided to give her ample bosom a considerable airing now that Summer has arrived!

The PA’s low cut tops are leaving very little to the imagination and God help Granville if she drops anything on the floor and needs to bend down. Poor soul, he simply doesn’t know what to do for the best!

Granville is worried that if he discusses the problem with her directly, he may be accused of sexual harassment for simply having made the observation in the first place i.e. looking. It’s a problem he is really not comfortable handling (no pun intended) and that’s where he has asked me to come in, as he feels a female approach may have a more positive effect and will protect him from inappropriate allegations.

Fortunately Gladys also needs one to one coaching in time management, prioritisation and communication. So the aim is for me to improve her overall performance in handling her work, but also educate her in the difference between “dresses for the garden and dresses for the office.”

I wonder how many chaps endure this potentially awkward situation each Summer and what sort of success they have had in dealing with this? I’d love to hear what methods have been used and the level of success achieved.

I’m hoping to solve Granville’s dilemma imminently and the end product will be a far more professional Gladys who will understand that men appreciate something being left to the imagination!

Predators in the workplace
Here’s another unpleasant predicament.

An associate of mine, of some two years suffered unwelcome sexual comments from her MD (here’s Daniel again)! However, my friend (I think I’ll call her Nicci) was long enough in the tooth to play her own game to manipulate his weakness. There’s a message in here to unsuspecting ‘predators’ who think they have control, read on.

Daniel openly declared himself happily married for some 20 plus years and was obviously proud that he had a seemingly devoted wife. His good lady had discovered his previous indiscretions, had taken him to task, but remained in the marriage for a variety of reasons i.e. love, security, lifestyle.

Daniel declared to his wife that he was a reformed character and would never stray again, however, he continued to seek out casual sex wherever he could and it was mainly through business and work colleagues.

This is where Nicci enters the picture. He was totally besotted with her and endeavoured throughout the two years to impress and charm her, hopefully into his bed.

Daniel would openly discuss his sexual prowess with her and try to tempt her with comments such as “a night with him would be the most memorable event of her entire life!” He even made Nicci aware he had a ready supply of Viagra! Wow, are egos like this a result of genes or is it taught in some way?

She once tolerated a three hour car journey with Daniel, during which he tried to quiz her about her sexual experiences and when she refused to discuss such matters, he then went on to attempt to describe some of his casual encounters – how creepy and disgusting is that?

Full credit to Nicci is due because she managed to keep her cool for the two years they worked together and resisted Daniel’s suggestions. On the basis of “two can play at this game” Nicci decided to use his weakness for her own gain.

She did consult me about a Tribunal process which I explained in full to her, but the choice was hers alone on whether to proceed with that route or not.

By keeping Daniel safely at arms length, but with good humour, she endeavoured to establish a solid career for herself as a business manager (with his full support of course!). He awarded her substantial salary increases over a period of time for which she always gave a polite thank you. For two years Daniel hoped and Nicci stood her ‘polite’ ground.

Daniel even tried the approach of admiration, complementing Nicci on her values and self worth, but nothing cracked her resolve. Fortunately Nicci was able to see the enormous humour of the situation and off loaded the burden of his persistence by entertaining her ‘girlie’ friends with frequent updates.

The result for Daniel is that he has since moved on to another company and possibly one day may well find himself attending a Tribunal for sexual harassment.

Nicci, in the meantime, has added to her skills and value considerably and can confidently face any challenge. She is glad she chose to use his weakness to her gain, rather than go the Tribunal route, as the stress of that process did not appeal to her at all.

Note to ‘Predators’ – someone, somewhere may view you as very pathetic and be having a good laugh at your literal expense. This particular ‘Predator’ is now more concerned that in his late forties he may be losing his touch as he hasn’t ‘pulled’ for sometime – perhaps he’s missing the point altogether – he lost it a long, long time ago!

Life is all about the choices we each make and if you’re comfortable and happy with the result then that’s what counts.

I wonder how some 21st century girls out there would have dealt with this themselves. Is Tribunal always best or can playing someone at their own game be the way forward?

Vital Stats:

For all of those ‘singletons’ out there:

• Weight – 9st 12lbs (been tempted by a few tasty things this week)!




• Chocolate – two ‘snack’ size (better psychologically ‘cos they’re small)

!


• Wine – one bottle of champagne to celebrate successful new training course for brewery client.




• one bottle Aussie Shiraz to help juicy steak on its way
  (both of the above were shared I hasten to add)!




• Boyfriends – one date, cooked dinner for good friend – stuck to succulent steak and salad. He needed his protein as he helped me put together a garden hammock. Have these romantic ideas of lying on hammock, sipping Pinot Grigio, with a good ‘summer’ read, followed by a gentle snooze. Hammock is huge (double size) on a steel frame, so no real risk of somersaults thank goodness! Good fun trying it out though!




• Deep thoughts – why does it thunder when I’ve just put together my hammock?

Keep it simple everyone and enjoy your week ahead!

*Sue Kingston is a self-employed HR Consultant with 23 years HR experience. Sue can be contacted on T: 07966 216561 or at hr@suekingston.co.uk

More diary entries:

• Fingers in the till
  
• Secrets of interviewing
  
• Looking for Darcy
  
• ‘Daniel’ meets his match
  
• Scoring on the golf course
  
• Starting out