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The Couch?! Colleagues from Hell

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Smiling crowd With the summer well and truly over and the dark nights closing in on us the Couch?! team is feeling a bit grumpy and irritable. This inspired us to have a right good old rant about the things that colleagues do that annoy us.

So don’t just sit there, let it all out purge yourself of these irritations and you will feel so much better.

We have devised a “colleagues annoying habits” top 10 to get you going. If you recognise that you yourself have some of these habits you have one of two options: you could apologise to all your colleagues immediately or you could find someone with worse behaviour than you and persecute them for ever more thus taking the attention away form you.

Post your own pet hates at the bottom of this article.

Top 10

1. Mr/Ms Shouty (often sales-type and frequently seems to be a man – but we may be being sexist) who thinks that the telephone hasn’t moved on since two yoghurt pots and a piece of string days and insists on yelling all his conversations?

2. Mr/Ms Romantic – the annoying bit here is the fall out from an office romance. Lovers tiffs are displayed publicly.

3. Mr/Ms Smelly – never been introduced to deodorant or other such modern luxuries like soap. Mr/Ms smelly also seems to enjoy bringing in lunch-time Tuperware containers of strong smelling food like kippers or last night’s vindaloo.

4. Mr/Ms Personal – makes calls home to the family every day which is great but do we all have to witness the “I love you no you put the phone down no you put the phone down,” in baby language. Often also acts as office Mr/Ms inappropriate – with far too much detail about latest conquests.

5. Mr/Ms Aggressive – likes to shout at his computer and gets very frustrated he even types aggressively.

6. Mr/Ms Whisper – always seems to tell you all the gossip about everyone else although very senior in the company. Has lots of whispered conversations to feel and look important.

7. Mr/Ms Hummer/Singer – show tunes are a particular favourite especially Annie.

8. Mr/Ms Unhygienic – nose picker, nail clipper yikes! I don’t wish to continue this one.

9. Mr/Ms Practical Joker – oh yes it’s oh so funny when you unplug my computer when I am in the middle of a training plan.

10. Mr/Ms Lazy – never makes you a cup of tea despite you making three or four mugs a day – how rude!

And finally (I know we said 10, but we’ve got into the swing of this now)…
Mr/Ms Personal Space Invader – In the words of lord Patrick of Swayze: “This is my dance space this is your dance space.”

Famous colleagues from hell:

Yes Minister
http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/guide/articles/y/yesminister_7777145.shtml

Men Behaving Badly
http://www.menbehavingbadly.com/

The Office
http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/

Drop the Dead Donkey
http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/guide/articles/d/dropthedeaddonke_7772455.shtml

Monty Python
http://www.davidpbrown.co.uk/jokes/monty-python-arguement.html

Katharine Tate – guess where I am going on holiday this year
http://www.funny.co.uk/keywords/katherine-tate-ginger.html

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