Choose your attitude is a phrase I heard for the first time about eleven years ago. It was at a two day EffortWorks (http://www.clearviewconnect.com/wwd/effortworks.htm) seminar that was hosted by a lively gentleman named Neil Dempster. This course was to become our companies coaching model, the way of the future, spend your time coaching the people who put forward the most effort instead of wasting time and energy on low performers who simply do not care. Unfortunately, this program, although we still use some of the terminology today, was ultimately short lived. We are a performance based culture and to keep turnover costs down, we must spend time coaching the bottom performers whether they want to be coached or not, we need them to meet their targets, and if they don’t well, we’re still spending time on them anyway, managing them out the door.
Choose your attitude
I remember thinking at the time when the very entertaining speaker had first said “Choose your attitude” that it was total and utter bullshit. How can you CHOOSE how you feel? There are too many outside factors that play into our emotions right? Maybe I had a death in my family, maybe someone I love is sick, maybe I’m sick, maybe my boyfriend dumped me, maybe I hate my job, maybe, maybe maybe, the list goes on and on…
Over the years however, having now been a coach myself for over ten years, I’ve come to learn that Neil was right. True, there are a lot of external factors that affect how we feel, but we don’t have to let those factors determine our actions. Huh? What does that mean? It’s simple really, get up every day and decide what kind of day you are going to have, regardless of what other people say or do, choose to have a good day. I know what you’re thinking… easier said than done right? It doesn’t have to be. For example, instead of getting right on that negativity train when someone at works starts talking trash, choose to disengage from the conversation, walk away or better yet, call the person out on their bad attitude. “Jeesh Mary, it’s really not that bad is it?” Now this doesn’t mean that we all don’t need to vent to our best friends from time to time, but even making this tiny change in your own reaction will help to improve not only your mood but the mood of those around you.
What else can I do to choose my attitude? Smile, say hello to others and ask how they are. Be genuine and warm to people, treat people the way you like to be treated. Cliché, yes, I know, but as Thumper would say, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Don’t let others bring you down, rise above it and remember it’s not personal. Just because someone is in a bad mood doesn’t mean that they are mad at you or that it’s somehow your fault. Lastly, try counting to yourself before you respond in a destructive way. Try to keep your input to conversations, meetings and coaching sessions meaningful and constructive.
