This is a guest post by psychologist and writer Emiliano Forino Procacci. His most recent book is “Communicating for success: the secrets of persuasion.” He’s a life coach and expert in verbal and non-verbal communication, and consults on personnel selection in fields where it is necessary to identify telltale signs of dishonesty (legal, civil, military).
The concept of comfort zone is important because it can positively affect our lives.
When we talk about comfort zone, we generally refer to the natural human tendency of prefering those situations we perceive as reassuring and stress-free.
Have you ever moved blissfully through an environment you know and, on the contrary, been self-conscious in a new environment? Do you always hang out with the same friends and in the same places? Answering these questions can help you discover the boundaries of your own comfort zones.
The role of the mind in escaping comfort zones is fundamental. Think of your mind like a vast sea, full of sailing boats (each sailing boat is a thought, emotion or feeling). If they didn't open up their sails (willpower) to be inflated by the wind (determination to act), they couldn't go anywhere.
Nobody was born to act like a spectator of the world we live in, but rather to lead and direct their own lives. Of course, opening up those sails and escaping your comfort zone isn’t easy: it’s rarely enough to simply read a book or an article in order to invoke the right mental conditions to escape.
However, I would add that sometimes it takes very little to get out of your comfort zone (I’ve met people who can do so after hearing a powerful song, for example). Often it comes back to our personal limits: when we refuse to use the word ‘impossible,’ we have won half the battle.
But knowing a bit more about the brain can help here too.
Our brain creates shortcuts and thought patterns so that we don't always make the same mistakes, to save resources and to comply with the ancestral biological imperative to preserve life and thus escape danger.
This means that human beings do not have to learn to do something over and over. We end up doing the same things, going to the same place and being the same people – because it’s easy.
This preserves mental integrity and helps avoid fear. The comfort zone can be very comforting, almost like being cradled, when we face difficulties. However, it sets limits on who we can really be. Fear of being outside the comfort zone stifles our growth.
There are other negative effects of staying in the comfort zone. The tranquilising effect of the comfort zone cannot help but diminish over time.
Have you ever had to interact with someone you can't stand, but with whom you avoid arguing in order to keep a "quiet life"? Have you ever hung out in the same places for years, even if you weren't fully satisfied? How many times have you expressed a desire to change your job or any other aspect of your life, and then had to give up in the face of a perceived obstacle?
In other words, we can experience the addictive, numbing effects of being in the comfort zone, as well as the unbearable frustration, at the same time.
And yet ultimately, as a species, we must be concerned with exploration, advancement and challenging ourselves. These are the things that help us grow and make us feel alive.
Tiring, hoping, falling, making mistakes, learning – these are the side effects of pushing ourselves outside the comfort zone. The path you take, the road you travel, is as important – more important, really – than the results you achieve.
There has never been a better opportunity to remember the words of the Roman general and politician Cato: "Adversities tame and teach us what is best to do; good fortune, however, prevents us from thinking and acting appropriately."
