Continuing on the subject of interviews, here are my top 10 stupid things for interviewees to do. See if you can guess how many of these situations I’ve dealt with as an interviewer.

1. Don’t dress for success.

Suits are boring, right? Wrong. Whether you like it or not, the interviewer is going to base at least some of their opinion about you on what you’re wearing. If you’re lucky, they will take your skills and experiences into account too. If not, well, let’s just say that maybe wearing your lucky jeans wasn’t such a good idea after all.

2. Use really strong smelling perfume or aftershave.

Your interviewer may find it a tad overwhelming. Once they’ve recovered from their coughing fit, that is.

3. Swear.

Absolutely guaranteed to win you a rejection letter. Any good interviewer would call a halt to the interview there and then. You have been warned.

4. Chew gum.

And then realise you need to get rid of it, panic, take it out of your mouth and hand it to your interviewer asking them to dispose of it for you. A real winner.

5. Don’t prepare.

Ah, a classic. Why on earth would you want to read up about the company or bother visiting their website? I mean, really? Who does that these days? People who get jobs, that’s who.

6. Bad mouth your previous employer.

The interviewer won’t want to know how badly you were treated at your last place. Believe me, slag off your previous employer to an interviewer and they’ll just be thinking how you’d do exactly the same thing once you left that company. As my mum always says, if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.

7. Insult your interviewer’s intelligence.

You may think that you know what your interviewer’s role in the company is. They may be “just” HR. But that doesn’t mean they don’t understand what you’re talking about. Insult their intelligence by saying “I’m sure you wouldn’t possibly understand this technical information” at your peril.

8. Tell the whole truth.

Sometimes, you just need to make something up when asked “what are your ambitions in life?”. The response “to make enough money to get a boob job” is too much information. No, really.

9. Flirt outrageously with your interviewer.

I’ve got one word for you – inappropriate.

10. Ask, “so when do I start?”

Confidence = good. Cockiness = bad.

Just so you know, I’ve either experienced these interview situations personally or I know someone who has. Yes, even the chewing gum one. Yes, one girl did tell me that she wanted enough money to get a boob job and no, I didn’t give her the job, despite her keen interest in self-improvement.