Perhaps it’s the coach in me but every time I hear someone blame the current situation on someone else I want to jump in and help them understand at least the inaccuracy of the language they’re using.
"This is the 2nd time you’ve done this to me" in reality is "This is the 2nd time this has happened to me."
"They haven’t even gritted the road" is really "The road didn’t act nor look like it had been gritted recently."
"They should have been able to get the runways clear by now" would at least be "I believe they should have been able to get the runways clear by now."
Notice how the ‘energy’ changes in the alternative but more realistic statements. I know it’s human nature to look to blame someone but that doesn’t help our blood pressure, it certainly doesn’t help the other person solve the problem and it certainly stops us understanding how we can help.
So next time, before you start to blame someone else for the situation, remember:
- People make the best choice they can at the time
- Every behaviour has a positive intent.