It’s totally understandable. So why the fear? Is it the concern that she’ll lose her job? Lose her meeting? Lose face with others? So what she does instead is try and control a situation by using mental energy, time and costly man hours to justify a point which comes down to, it works well for us, here is the anecdotal evidence, come along and see for yourself how much we achieve and maybe it could be a great model for the rest of the company. That is the bottom line which would take her team dozens of hours to research, write, prepare and present.
Maybe this method of communicating with others, having ‘courageous’ conversations is over simplifying the more complicated issues of office politicking, or maybe we’ll all drop dead on the way to the photocopier anyway.
Think of a ‘courageous’ conversation as a heart felt, honest account. If it comes from the heart and you totally mean it, it will require minimum notes or presentation as the core message will resonate from within you. Here are a few questions to ask yourself that will help:
- Why do I need this conversation?
- What is the other person’s point of view, do I really understand it, how could I understand it better?
- What is the ideal outcome which makes everyone a winner?
- What will happen if I do nothing?
- What is the worst that can happen?
- How will I know if the conversation has been successful?
Finally a ‘courageous’ conversation does not mean an emotional one. Stay focused on the bigger picture and do not lose yourself in your desired outcome.
“Life is mostly froth and bubble, two things stand like stone, kindness in another’s trouble, courage in your own.” (Adam Lindsay Gordon 1833-1870)
Emma Ranson Bellamy is an accredited CMI Work life Balance Coach specialising in facilitating organisational and personal balance. To find a programme to fit your needs contact Emma on T: 0845 257 1937 or at www.emmaransonbellamy.co.uk
Other articles in this series:
- All work and no play?
- The graduate
- HR gets loaded and happy
- Living in the ‘now’
- A new chapter
- The five minute mentor
- The Queen of the Jungle
- You’ve got to be ‘in it to win it’
- Raising the bar on self esteem
- Can bosses ignore ‘portfolio personalities?
- An intuitive answer to an age old debate
- The glorification of age?
- Pandora’s box
- Trouble with ‘de math’
- Reconciling tensions
- A workout for the soul
- New perspectives
- Learning to listen
- Starting out