Summary: Most wellbeing programmes are measured on attendance and satisfaction. Neither tells you whether anything actually changed for the people in the room. Are organisations supporting employees while overlooking the specific pressures of being a parent?
Picture a working parent at 7:30 am. One child is refusing to get dressed and the other is crying because they don’t want to go to school. They are also thinking about their first meeting before they even leave the house.
By the time they sit down at their desk, they are already exhausted. It is not visible; they will perform just fine. They are capable, and used to handling things. And they may never admit they are struggling at home; they don’t think they are allowed to say it out loud at work.
This is the part that should concern every HR leader: the wellbeing programme your organisation invested in was not designed for these moments.
The problem with a good score
Most wellbeing programmes measure engagement: they look at how many people attended, how sessions were rated and whether participants found them useful. These are reasonable indicators. They say very little about whether anything actually changed.
The CIPD’s 2025 Health and Wellbeing at Work survey found that 64 per cent of organisations are actively working to reduce stress in the workplace, yet only 50 per cent believe those efforts are making a difference.
A programme can be well attended, well rated and genuinely appreciated, while behaviour remains exactly the same.
What stress does to the brain
There is a simple reason for this.
Research by Amy Arnsten at Yale University, published in Nature Reviews Neuroscience, shows that even mild, uncontrollable stress impairs the prefrontal cortex. This is the part of the brain responsible for rational decision making, impulse control and the ability to choose a response rather than reacting automatically.
A parent who attended a session on emotional regulation last month may have understood and valued what they learned. Yet, at 7:30 am, under pressure, that knowledge may not be accessible.
Even mild, uncontrollable stress impairs the prefrontal cortex
Working parents are a specific case
All employees experience stress. Working parents are managing two performance environments at the same time. What happens in one directly affects what is available in the other.
An argument before school, a difficult drop-off or a lingering sense of guilt do not switch off at the office door. These experiences take up cognitive space and can influence attention, patience and decision making throughout the day.
Deloitte’s 2024 research found that 46 per cent of working parents are concerned about their children’s mental health. Half of those say this concern directly affects their performance at work. The estimated cost to UK employers is £8 billion per year, in addition to the £51 billion attributed to employee mental health more broadly.
Supporting the parent, not just the employee
Most organisations are already taking action. Flexible working policies, employee assistance programmes and sessions on stress and resilience are increasingly common. These initiatives have real value.
The issue is that most of them treat the parent as an employee with additional pressure, rather than recognising that parenting itself is part of what is driving the stress. They offer tools to manage stress, but not for the situation creating it. They raise awareness, but do not always build the ability to respond differently in real time.
And information is not lacking: most parents already know what they are expected to do. The challenge is having the tools to apply that knowledge in the moment that matters.
What to do differently
If the goal is behavioural change under pressure, then wellbeing support needs to be specific to the challenge it’s trying to solve.
Supporting working parents requires something different from supporting employees dealing with change, stress or difficult team dynamics.
The intervention needs to match the reality: the former needs to focus on the situations parents face daily. In the latter, the focus shifts to how individuals respond to pressure, feedback, and time constraints.
The challenge is having the tools to apply that knowledge in the moment that matters
Design for behaviour change
It also means offering support as a process, not a single event. Behaviour changes through repetition, in the same way physical strength does. One session may create awareness, but consistent practice creates the transformation.
Finally, it requires giving people simple, practical tools and strategies they can use in real time. Once they’ve been able to practice these enough to become automatic, when they find themselves under pressure they will respond rather than react.
What actually matters
The most meaningful question is also the hardest to measure. Did anything actually change?
- Did this person respond differently at home last week?
- Did that shift affect how they communicated, focused or made decisions at work?
- Is the overall load they are carrying lighter than it was three months ago?
Deloitte’s analysis suggests that for every £1 invested in early wellbeing interventions, employers recover an average of £4.70 in productivity. That return is real. But it depends on whether the intervention reaches the level where behaviour is actually shaped.
A programme can achieve strong engagement scores while leaving people exactly where they were. If nothing changes in real moments, nothing has changed at all.
Key takeaways
- Check what you’re actually measuring: If your programme tracks attendance and satisfaction but nothing else, you don’t know whether it’s working.
- Look at whether your offer addresses parents specifically: Flexible working and EAP provision are valuable, but they don’t address what happens at 7:30am before school. Ask yourself honestly whether anything in your current offer does.
- Turn one-off sessions into something repeated: Pick one existing initiative and build in follow-up as awareness doesn’t change behaviour, practice does
- Ask whether people can use what you’re teaching them under pressure: Are the tools you’re offering simple enough to use in real time?
If you enjoyed this, read: Strategic stress management: HR can’t be left out of the equation
