This column answers your questions on leadership, talent management, performance improvement  and the employee behavioural issues that can cause even the best leadership techniques to go awry. This time an affair between a director and a person reporting to them is making life awkward.

The dilemma

My manager (a director) has been having an affair with another of her direct reports – both are married.

This isn’t the first time the director has had an extra marital affair but it is the first time she has done it with another manager who reports into her (as far as I am aware).

This concerns me as an HR professional as I feel she is putting the business at risk – it only takes a fall out to result in an ET – and I have lost all trust in her decision making abilities. I worry that when it all falls flat the manager will claim that she took advantage of her position and could leave the business in a difficult position. Above all, I have lost all professional respect for her to the point where I feel I should look for a role elsewhere.

What are my options here? I don’t really think I should have to look for another job because of this – but I am struggling to work for someone for whom I have lost all respect and trust.

I love my job and the organisation but this is making me feel very uncomfortable. I had considered raising it formally but I’m concerned that my life would be made very difficult – although the flip side to that is they might offer a compromise agreement which would help me to find something else.
 

Advice

Based solely on the information that you have provided, there are many things to consider before you decide what your best options are to resolve the situation that you are in.

On examination it seems that the following points are relevant:

1.    Your manager has had a number of affairs in the past
2.    Your manager is now in a relationship with a direct subordinate
3.    There is a potential risk to the business
4.    You no longer trust her decision making abilities
5.    You feel that things could be made difficult for you if you say something
6.    You would consider a Compromise Agreement.

In relation to points 1, 2 and 5, you must consider the company culture: is it one that encourages or is neutral to the personal relationships of its employees? It might be that your manager’s behaviour is considered ‘normal’ and therefore you will find it harder to get support from the senior team to take effective action. Some companies believe that so long as personal relationships are not affecting the work performance of the employees then they would prefer to take a blind eye to them.

Others have a strict ‘no touching’ rule, frowning on relationships, particularly those which are not peer to peer. I’m assuming that your manager’s affairs in the past have not caused any discernable damage so this may well have been the company’s strategy (to leave well alone) in the past. Perhaps her past affairs are ones that are rumoured rather than actual, so you may be basing your beliefs on something that has no substance to them.

If you base your decisions on a rumour you could be causing yourself undue problems and encourage the organisation and your colleagues to trust you less. This could have significant repercussions on your career.

Let’s assume that your manager is indeed having an affair with a subordinate. Will notifying this to another Director cause you significant problems? It might if the company is one which feels that personal relationships are not the purview of the company, or that the Director is not (currently) causing any damage.

Point 3 and point 6 are connected. Careful consideration should be made as to whether there is in fact a claim that would be upheld at an Employment Tribunal. Has the affair caused her to unlawfully discriminate, or breach company policy? Whilst there is a risk, is it one that is likely to happen, has already happened or is highly significant? Other things the company needs to consider is whether this affair is causing morale issues or criminal or civil issues. The company needs to decide how much risk it wishes to bear. If the affair causes criminal activity such as fraud then you may need to take more decisive action.

By reading your summary of the events there doesn’t seem to be a justifiable reason why the company would offer you a compromise agreement. You may be alluding that they would prefer that you left rather than stay around and cause problems for them. This is a strategy that has some risks and has some ethical overtones. A claim for constructive dismissal (breach of trust from the employer) which you might be alluding to in point 4 will be hard to substantiate. The fact that you feel that you cannot work for your manager is one of a personal choice – unless of course there is bullying or some other discrimination at play here.

Finally, the decision you finally choose is not cut and dry and relies on what weight you apply to the various factors. If your Director is in actuality putting the company at risk, you may feel that it is ethical that you say something to the company, a neutral third party (possibly a union or work representative) who has influence or indeed your manager. If you are dealt with inappropriately then you will have legal redress, although that route may be unpalatable. If you feel that you cannot work in an environment that is a ‘hotbed’ of affairs and inappropriate behaviour then leaving may be your best option. If you choose to do this, you can do this in your own time and on your own terms.

Judith Germain is the Founder & Principal Consultant of Dynamic Transitions Ltd a company which enables organisations to significantly improve the leadership performance of the key individuals in the organisation, whether they are managers or individual team members. A particular specialism is working with mavericks or Troublesome Talent®. Judith is a recognised speaker, trainer and writer on leadership and talent management issues.